Bachelorette episode 9 - Fantasy Suites
We start off the episode with JOJO in that silky blue dress crying about which guy to send home. She sticks with her gut and boots off the country man from Texas, Luke. He is in total shock - and he cannot even look JOJO in the eyes. Wonder if his spray tan will hold up if he sheds some tears. He keeps saying that this is not supposed to happen - and if only this was an episode of Punked - he would be right. But it is, so get your ass in the limo so we can get on with the other heartbreaks.
The first lucky man to get a chance to "cuddle" JOJO in the fantasy suite is Robby. They get some massages that do not have any happy endings at the end - unlike the fantasy suites. They do to dinner where Robby - whom sounds like a girl by the way - talks about how he is not like the guys from her past. Lets talk about his profession... former competitive swimmer. He was never in the olympics ... how does one be a competitive swimmer if they never end up in the olympics? He has to be hoping that he comes in first or second place because ABC pays them...
JOJO gives him the FS card and he excepts, lights out and they obviously do each other. The next morning they are all super goo-goo gaa-gaa all over breakfast and this is the first time I see them eat.... ever. She leaves and he tries to get his morning boner down.
Next up is Jordan. They end up hiking - which lets be honest, its a terrible date. They are all sweaty and tired afterwards. Its kind of a boring date because they can't kiss each other they just stare at each other real close.
At dinner JOJO asks him where he sees himself in a year ... he can't say, reporting sports because now everyone knows Aaron Rodgers little bro from the show, so he says he doesn't know but he hopes she is in his life. BLAH. She gives him the FS card and off they go. Into JOJO's cave. HA! See what I did there?! Next morning is the same - JOJO looks amazing which is horse shit.
Colorado Chase - my fav! - is up next and he just looks adorbs. They play around in the fish market and he shows his fun and funny side and she laughs like she actually has a fun personality. During their break before dinner - I did not know there was breaks, maybe just to get ready? But why is Colorado Chase just sitting in the sand building sand castles? - JOJO gets a knock on her door and clever editing we all think its Colorado Chase - except for me. Ha. Oh look who it is - Robby. My least favorite. He talks about how he is in love with her even more - blah blah blah. He leaves and its dinner time for Colorado Chase.
They eat dinner and she gives him the FS card and he is in. They are in the FS and he is letting her know that he is, in fact, in love with her. As soon as he says it she looks like she is going to throw up everywhere and leaves poor Colorado Chase to his own thoughts. She comes back pretty much to say the feelings are not the same and that his journey to find love is over. He doesn't take it well, which I agree with him on, and he goes home.
Rose Ceremony
Obviously its just Jordan and Robby and when JOJO starts coming down the stairs they know somethings up - No Colorado Chase. She tells the two that Colorado Chase is gone and that he was angry, just to have him walk up and ask JOJO to take a minute to talk with him. He is a class act and tells her that he is sorry for the way he acted and he wishes her happiness. At that point, I would have married him. She is left with Robby who JUST broke up with his GF and Jordan who does not have a relationship with his brother who is a star and really wants to be famous. Two stupid choices. I give her and whomever she chooses 6 months.
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