The first moment your son or daughter can say, "mama", is the moment your heart melts as a parent. Its like the first time your husband-to-be says, "I love you" times 1 million. You realize as soon as this tiny voice says it that you are in fact not only their mom but you are responsible for them, they look at you different from everyone else, you are their everything. You beam with joy and cannot stop smiling and immediately tell everyone who is listening that they finally said, "mama."
Then they start becoming a toddler, being able to say more words and maybe "mama" turns into "mommy". And then at some point in their life - they say it for everything. There are some times they even say, "mommy" instead of um ... or hello ... or excuse me .... or just asking the damn question they have for you!
The worst part about it is when you say, "what?" its still never good enough for them. The usually conversation with these manics goes something like this ...
"Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?"
"Yeah?"
"Mommy?"
"what?"
"mom?"
"WHAT?!"
"Can I have a drink?"
"Yes ..."
"Mommy?"
"What?"
"Can you get me a drink?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
(zoning off in tv land ....)
"Emerson! What do you want?"
(still watching ...)
(Me - giving up)
"Mommy? Mommy?"
"What?"
"Wheres my drink?"
And that conversation is the conversation we have about a million times a day. The worst conversations are the ones in the car.
"Mommy?"
(me wondering why the fuck they just don't start talking - there is no one else here to address) "Yeah?"
"Mommy ... "
"What?"
"Where are we going?"
"The store"
"Mommy?"
"Yeah ..."
"Can I have a cookie when we are there?"
"Sure"
"Mommy?"
(Trying to ignore her just to see if she stops talking - huge mistake)
"Mommy? mommy? mommy?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I bring in my stuffed animal into the store?"
"Maybe"
"Mommy?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you get me a drink?"
There are also times where your husband helps out ....
"Mommy?"
husband - "Yeah Emerson, what do you need?"
"Mommy?"
husband - "What do you need? can daddy help?"
"Mommy?"
"what?"
"I am hungry"
"ok tell daddy what you want."
"mommy?"
"What?"
"I want mac and cheese."
"Ok have daddy go fix it for you"
"Daddy?"
husband - "yeah?"
"mommy will make me some mac and cheese."
The daddy's of the world try to step in but according to these littles, they are never good enough. There are times too that I will say their name when they say my name. Then it ends up being a battle of who can go the longest.
"Mommy?"
"Emerson?"
"Mommy?"
"Emerson?"
"MOMMY!!!"
"Emerson?"
(zones off and forgets she needs something...)
(I am so happy that I won that battle only to have her say mommy 30 seconds later)
Then there are the phone conversations. As soon as you become a mother, everyone needs to just realize that if they call you for one specific thing, it will take at least one hour for you to get whatever they need out of your mouth.
*phone rings*
(after running around looking under toys, blankets and actual kids, I find my phone)
"Hello?"
"Hey! What are you ...."
"HEY!! DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH! what you say?"
"Oh I was just asking what you are doing today...."
"Oh! yeah, we are probably going to target later ... STOP HITTING HIM! THAT IS HIS!"
"That's fun. I love me some target. The other day I spend so much money on clothes and ..."
"SERIOUSLY .... IF YOU HIT HIM ONE MORE TIME YOU ARE GOING TO TIME OUT. Yeah ... what are you doing today?"
"Not sure, was calling to see if you wanted to get dinner this week..."
"Oh my god - yes I need away from these crazy animals. DEKLAN! WHY ARE YOU CRYING? STOP TEASING HIM WITH THAT TOY!"
"Cool! what day works best?"
(in the background .... "Mommy?! Mommy?!")
"MOMMY IS ON THE PHONE ... PLEASE WAIT TILL I AM OFF..... I AM NOT WIPING YOUR BUTT - YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH! Um ... wait, what?"
"What day works best for you?"
"Oh probably any day, I will check with the boss man. (background ... "Mommy? Mommy?") I SAID I AM ON THE PHONE!!"
"Ok, why don't you call me back when you find out ...."
"Yeah, sounds good"
(never call back because friends with no kids don't get it.)
Then there is the classic - mom to mom phone conversation that is just amazeballs.
"Hello?"
"Hey! Whats going on!!"
"Oh nothing ... Just getting ready to feed the kids ... I SAID I AM MAKING IT!"
"Ugh ... My kids never eat. I mean ... how are they still alive?! NO - I CAN'T PLAY TEA PARTY WITH YOU, I AM ON THE PHONE!"
"God - they are the worst. (background .... "Mommy?") HOLD ON - LET ME FINISH WITH THIS PHONE CALL THEN I WILL HELP YOU."
"Do you want to try to do a play date later? JUST PLAY TEA WITH YOUR BEARS UNTIL I AM OFF THE PHONE!"
"Yep! I just have to make sure Deklan naps today or he will become the Hulk and ruin my day.... "
"Totally! Ok, well call me later to see how the kids are feeling.... DID YOU FILL UP THIS TEA POT WITH ALL THIS WATER? WHY IS THERE THE BIGGEST MESS EVER IN HERE?!"
(waits till she is done with her little ...) "Dude .... tea parties are the worst. Why do we buy them toys we loathe so much?! (background, "Mommy?") YES YOUR WAFFLE IS ALMOST DONE"
"Seriously ... I want to throw away every toy. NO - MOMMY IS NOT THROWING AWAY YOUR TOYS .... ok, I have to go play tea party. Call me later."
"Ok, I am going to go finish Mutt and Stuff and then slowing rip my eyeballs out. I AM COMING!! ok ... bye!"
"Bye!"
We all love the word "mommy" because one day they will never say "mommy" it will be "mom" and they won't want to say it or call you because they have their own lives. But for the love of God - its so annoying. Then you have a 2 year old that can start saying it!! And he won't just say "mommy?" he will say, "mom mom mom mom mom mom!!"
Thank God these two are so damn cute and that I do love being a mom. But someone stick a knife in my eye if I have to hear MOMMY? one more time today!!!
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